bitched:

trying on new jeans in the fitting roomimage

(via marvelled)

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home

(via encourage)

whoredinarygirl:

the best things in life have the most calories

(Source: whoredinarygirl, via encourage)

the-anal-rapist:

gayseawitch:

dicksplit:

I want a tattoo on my dick that says “i know, right?”

probably you can only get “ikr”

image

(via encourage)

tinychatting:

my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone

(via encourage)

orgasm:

whenever i see a pic of jared leto i always have to think if he’s jesus for a second

(via crunchier)

yongmuney:

this is an appreciation post for anyone who has ever tolerated me

(via crunchier)

astonishingly:

i literally just need friends to text 24/7 about anything and everything

(Source: astonishingly, via crunchier)

verticulars:

I think my parents consider me to be a god. Because they always ask me ridiculous questions that I don’t have the answer to.

(via crunchier)

nerdymelly:

do you ever wonder what could have been? because I do all the time

(via crunchier)

dutchster:

"you’re cute"
cute like you wanna pinch my cheeks or cute like you wanna make love to me

(via pikxi)